INTERVIEW WITH THE VIRGIN MARY
By Pastor Chris Matthis
Rev. 12-7-21

Cast:
Talk Show Host (Theophilus or Theodora, depending on gender)
Virgin Mary
Drummer (Band Leader)
Children (Audience)

Time: About 7 mins.

TV studio.

Two metal folding chairs in chancel give impression of a TV studio interview set. HOST sits in a chair with a coffee mug and clipboard, wearing business attire.

HOST
Welcome, children! Welcome! Merry Christmas!

CHILDREN
Merry Christmas!

HOST
Welcome to our show, “Nazareth at Night” with me, your host, Theophilus. Audience, we’re so glad to have you in the studio with us. I always like to start with a joke or two, so… let’s get started.

What do you call a scary-looking reindeer? … A cari-boo!

Why don’t you ever see Santa Claus at the hospital? … Because he has private elf care! Get it: private ELF care!

Okay, how about this: why couldn’t Mary and Joseph get fast food on Christmas Eve? Because there was no room at the INN and Out Burger!

DRUMMER plays a ba-dum-bum-crash.

All right, I’ll stop. I know that I can be quite punishing at times. Okay, Boy, do we have a show for you tonight! Besides fantastic music from our band, we also have a VERY special guest for you tonight…

DRUMMERS plays drum roll.

None other than the girl from Nazareth, handmaiden of our Lord, the Theotokos with the “mostest,” the virgin MARY!

DRUMMER hits the cymbals. MARY enters from stage right. HOST claps loudly and encourages children to do the same.

C’mon down, Mary! Have a seat right there. We’re so blessed to have you with us on the show tonight–and on Christmas Eve, of all nights.

MARY
Thank you! I’m very blessed to be with you.

HOST
I imagine that this is a very busy night for you, what with the birth of Jesus and all.

MARY
Well, actually, that was a long time ago–more than two-thousand years ago. Jesus isn’t a baby anymore.

HOST
Ah, yes. Very true. But tell me, Mary, what was it like giving birth to the Son of God?

MARY
Painful, of course. It certainly wasn’t a “Silent Night.”

HOST
Painful? I always imagined that God would spare you that pain, considering whose mother you were.

MARY
No, it wasn’t like that at all. Even though Jesus is the Son of God, he’s still human too. 100% God and 100% human, but perfect in every way.

HOST
“Perfect in every way.” Hah! Every mother thinks that about her baby.
 

MARY
Well, in Jesus’ case it’s true. Jesus was–and still is–perfect. He never sinned and never will. His entire life, he never did anything wrong.

HOST
Although, there were times you still got angry at him, weren’t there?

MARY
Yes, of course. It isn’t easy being the Mother of Our Lord. I’m a sinner like everyone else, and sometimes I’d forget who I was dealing with.

HOST
Like the time when Jesus was 12-years-old and got left behind in Jerusalem.

MARY
He didn’t get left behind. He stayed behind.

HOST
Interrupts
Mmm hmm…

MARY
Joseph and I were very worried. When we couldn’t find Jesus, we didn’t know if he was kidnapped or lost–or worse. We searched the entire city for days, looking for him. And when we finally found him, he was just sitting there in the Temple, perfectly happy and talking with the teachers of the Law.

HOST
Lean in.
What did you say to him?

MARY
What any mother would say: “How could you DO this to us?! Your father and I have been scared to death. We’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

HOST
Sit on edge of seat.
And what did he say?

MARY
Swallows uncomfortably.
He said: “Why were you looking for me? Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?”

HOST
His Father’s house?

MARY
Yes, his Father’s house. He meant the Temple, the house of the Lord. Because God is his real Father.

HOST
You mean that Joseph wasn’t Jesus’ real father?

MARY
No, of course not. Joseph was just Jesus’ stepfather. (Pause) “Just”! What am I saying?! Joseph was a wonderful man and loved Jesus just like his own. But Jesus wasn’t his son. Jesus is the Son of God.

HOST
But how did that make Joseph feel?

MARY
It was hard for him to take, especially at the beginning. When the angel came to me, Joseph and I were engaged to be married. But we’d never been together in “that way.” We did everything the right way, according to God’s plan, waiting for marriage and everything. So Joseph didn’t believe me at first when I told him that my pregnancy was a miracle.

HOST
He didn’t believe you?

MARY
No! Why would he? Who ever heard of a pregnant virgin?

HOST
Good point!

MARY
Joseph thought that I had cheated on him.

HOST
But you hadn’t, of course. Was he angry?

MARY
I think he was heartbroken, more sad than mad. He seriously considered breaking off our engagement and calling off the wedding.

HOST
But you still ended up together. So how did that get resolved?

MARY
An angel appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people their sins.”

HOST
“Save his people from their sins”? What does that mean?

MARY
Exactly what it says. Jesus’ name means, “The Lord saves.” His name says who he is and what he does. Jesus saves.

HOST
But how does Jesus save us from our sins?

MARY
I didn’t understand that at first, either. I was so happy when Jesus was born that my heart had no room for sadness. But when Jesus was only a few weeks old, an old man named Simeon said something strange to me. He said, “A sword will pierce through your own soul also.”

HOST
A sword? That’s pretty ominous.

MARY
Yes, it is. From that day on, a shadow always hung over me.

HOST
Points at wall cross.
The shadow of the cross.

MARY
Yes, the shadow of the cross. Jesus’ journey was from the manger to the cross. He was a baby born to die. Jesus is God’s gift to the world, his perfect sacrifice, his very best, who died in our place to save us from our sins.

HOST
But Jesus didn’t stay dead.

MARY
No, he didn’t. He rose again! But that’s a story for another day.

HOST
The third day?

BOTH laugh.
MARY
Jesus is the first–and greatest–Christmas gift of all: God wrapped in human flesh. He is Immanuel…

HOST
“God with us.”
MARY
And God for us too! Jesus is the proof that God loves sinners and is willing to do whatever it takes to forgive them so they can live with Him forever.

HOST
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” I think that’s a good note to end on. Mary, thank you so much for giving us your time tonight.

MARY
Theophilus, I’m delighted! Call me back anytime. Merry Christmas!

HOST
Merry Christmas! Although, I suppose that every day is “Mary” for you!

DRUMMER plays Bah-Dum-Bum on drums.
Blackout. MARY and HOST exit in dark.